Dracula 3000 Review

I just finished watching a movie that is over a decade old. I did not plan on watching this movie. I was just sitting in my living room when my Cisco Explorer reset by itself and my television was suddenly on another channel. Not paying much attention to what was on television, I seen that a movie was just starting and even though I tried not to watch; my attention was soon completely on this movie.

I noticed a couple people in the movie. Coolio, the 90's rapper who had hits such as "Gangster's Paradise," "Fanstastic Vogage," and "County Line" was in it. Tom "Tiny" Lister was also in it. Many will recognize Tiny Lister from his role as Deebo in the "Friday" movies. Old time wrestling fans will know him as Zeus, the monster who had a feud with Hulk Hogan in the late 1980s' The movie looked professionally made and did not look anything like a low budget flick. This movie was called "Dracula 3000" and I figured I would have a good movie to watch tonight.

To quickly sum up the plot of this movie: The year is 3000 and Captain Van Helsing and his crew are traveling in space on the space salvage ship Mother III.  They end up finding an abandoned ship, the derelict transport Demeter. The crew prowls around the ship, looking to see if they can find anything interesting. The Captain claims salvage rights to the ship and plans to bring the ship with him, but problems start when Mother III suddenly uncouples from the Demeter. They are then stranded on the Demeter and have no way of communicating with anyone.

Cargo specialist 187 (Coolio) and Humvee (Tiny Lister) end up prowling into a cargo that has nothing but coffins in it. Cargo specialist 187, who is deep inside hoping to find something good to smoke starts opening up the coffins but only find sand. Humvee is called to report to Captain Van Helsing leaving specialist 187 alone to see what the rest of the coffins contain. Later, the crew hears lots of noise and rushes to the coffin cargo room and find that specialist 187 was apparently attacked by something. They soon find that specialist 187 has red eyes, sharp teeth and is a vampire. 187 now has strict orders from his master to kill the whole crew.

Aurora, the second in command runs into the vampire master named Count Orlock. The beautiful blond in cornered and seems to be attacked as we see Count Orlock go for the bite on her neck. Aurora is later in the presence of Captian Van Helsing and Humvee. Under suspicion, they have here tied up just in case she is now a vampire. They cannot understand how she got out of the situation that she was in. 187 then attacks the Captain and Humvee while Aurora is tied up. Humvee ends up killing 187, who he has known since their childhood by staking him in the heart with a pool cue. Aurora then confesses to the captain that she is an undercover droid who is investigating illegal salvage activities. Even though the captain feels betrayed, he unties her and feels that she is one of their best assets if they are going to survive their ordeal. It now makes sense why she did not turn into a vampire as she does not have any blood.

The professor (who uses a wheelchair to get around) and the captain discover while doing research that the captain is actually an ancestor of famous vampire killers. Also, they learn that vampires can be killed by driving a stake in their heart. They also learn that vampires do not like crosses or sunlight. The plan immediately becomes to get as close to the local sun as possible. The problem is that it will take 13 hours to get there. During this time, Aurora and Captian Van Helsing are confronted by Orlock. The captain feels confident in himself after learning about who his ancestors are. As the captain and Orlock fight, Aurora runs away to get reinforcement. When Aurora and Humvee return, they see that the captain has lost his fight and is not a vampire himself. Humvee stakes him in the heart and kills him for good.

The professor, all alone and scared ends up running into Orlock who promises him that he can walk again. When Aurora and Humvee return and find the professor, he is passed out on a table. Aurora stabs him with a cross somehow knowing already that he was a vampire. Orlock, with only Humvee and Aurora left to kill tries to enter the bridge, but they close the door on him as he tries to get in and Orlcok's arm end up being chopped off by the door as it is closed on him.

Alone in the room and the professor not there anymore to pilot the ship, Humve and Aurora admit to each other that they do not know how to pilot the ship. Even though they know that they have no chance of surviving, they feel satisfied knowing that they have ruined Orlock's plans to return to Earth. Aurora also admits to Humvee that she used to be a sexual pleasure droid before being reprogrammed. This puts a smile on Humvee's face knowing that he will have some pleasure at the end of his life.

Up to this point, the movie is alright. Not the best, but certainly good enough to keep a person entertained. There is now a scene from the Dementer's Captian Varna who announces on a screen that he is going to sacrifice himself and his ship. The Dementer explodes in the middle of space killing everyone on board. Dracula 3000 has one of the worst endings I have ever seen in a movie. It is like the makers of this movie just gave up on it and found an easy solution to end it. Because of the Dracula 3000 cheap ending, I would not advice anyone to see it. If you do, mark my words, you will be OK with it at first and be pissed off at the end.

After reading more about "Dracula 3000," I have learned that the movie did have a relatively low budget and that it went direct to video. This does not surprise me as I don't think any theater would want to show a movie with an ending as terrible as this.

Rating: 4.5